The Heroine’s Quest, Descent and Return
- Jennifer Boire
- Apr 3
- 5 min read
© Jennifer Boire, 2025; first published in 2019
I think of the descent and rebirth as a positive thing – we get frightened when something Big is showing up, or we feel on the edge of the abyss. Nobody goes willingly into the Descent mode. But there is another way of looking at it, particularly as regards women in a mid-life transition or at menopause. The descent is more of a spiral inward, a movement to go deeper into our body’s knowing, to listen to the signals from our body, and connect to our wholeness and authenticity. The rebirth is on its way!
The Heroic Quest (as outlined by Joseph Campbell) involves leaving the known world, facing challenges and finding allies, then returning to help the world with new knowledge. The heroine’s journey (as described by Maureen Murdock) at midlife involves moving down into her depths, leaving behind the upper world of cultural norms and roles; it is a descent into her true Self where she reconnects with the Deep Feminine. Here is where the heroine’s quest differs from a heroic quest. Below are some of the stages and phases on the Heroine's Quest:
Separating from the Everyday World: she turns away from the outer realm of success and doing, and enters the realm of receiving and being. There are challenges she is facing, confusion, a need for time alone; she is not sure who she is anymore, having tried to be everything to everybody else. She needs more solitude, more ‘me time’ to reflect in, sifting and sorting how she feels.
She descends into her body’s knowing, or is forced to perhaps, by facing health challenges, burnout or fatigue. She discovers the importance of taking care of her body, perhaps through an illness or accident. She listens to her hungers and desires, her need for rest, sexual healing, touch, massage. She changes her diet, discovers which foods suit her best.
She descends into the realm of her feelings and emotions, and listens to her restless heart. She must learn to receive as well as to give. Pleasing others must be tempered with pleasing herself. She feels the chinks forming in her defensive armour, gets in touch with an old grief, or rage, feelings of loss, her fear of mortality. It may feel like a tsunami has hit her. She faces the shadow or dark side, her suppressed emotions; she takes a stand to defend her own interests, no more nice girl. She lets the tears fall. She gathers the lost pieces of herself. She learns to stand up for herself.
She gets in touch with the raw, instinctive, wild side, her sexuality, her true desire or lack of desire. She enters the ground of her being. It may feel like going underground, a depression, or a temporary withdrawal from the upper world of outer values. Her inner world calls out loudly. Sometimes she thinks she is going crazy, especially at menopause.
She releases perfectionism, striving, provitude, the tendency to work too much; she is feeling overwhelmed. She lies at the bottom of the well, morphing into bug soup. Like the butterfly, she first must let go of her old shape while the new one is being transformed. She cannot see the future. Her mind is in a fog. She almost loses hope, yet she can feel the buds of new wings stirring behind her.
To begin the return, she needs to reconnect with the healing power of Nature, the simple elements of earth and sky, trees and water, the cycles of the moon, the seasons, the ground she walks on; she needs to stick her hands and feet in the dirt. She discovers self-soothing rituals like lying on the ground looking at the trees above, breathing into her belly. She feels like she could talk to the birds, hear the wind’s message, dance with the fire.
She reconnects with her inner knowing, intuition, wisdom and develops greater trust in her IGS (inner guidance system). She learns to slow down through daily practices like meditation, chi gong, yoga, and right brain creative activities; art, singing, dancing and music all help. She longs to be rocked in the arms of the Great Mother. She creates rituals of self-care for herself.
She begins to heed her dreams, and longs to express her creativity. She remembers what she used to love doing when she was younger: pottery, playing piano, bicycling, and she feels herself opening to explore new ways of being in Flow. Dancing, poetry, art, water colour painting, weaving, and SoulCollage® appeal to her.
She begins to speak her truth, unafraid of what others will say. She discovers her core values. She finds her Voice. She is true to her Self, she owns her authenticity, her likes and dislikes; she knows her own mind. She releases what no longer serves her. She seeks the support of her partner and children, and lets them know when she needs Time Away. She writes in her journal, seeks allies, joins a woman’s circle, knows the value of being seen and heard, and finding support during this transition.
She enters the Guardian years, over 60, after menopause, with new found wisdom. She recognizes this is a sacred journey of growth. She grows in compassion for others and shares her newfound learnings. She has faced the Unknown in the dark depths, and overcome some of the challenges. She feels connected to the Benevolent Universe. She is on her way to becoming a Wise Woman or Elder, who can give back or be a gatekeeper for those who come after her. She gives thanks.
Something you can do: Talk to another woman about your own descent or journey. Then draw it, write it. You can also collage something about the journey or call on an archetype (goddess or other) that speaks to you.
“The Heroine’s Journey is based on the experience of fathers’ daughters who have idealized, identified with, and allied themselves closely with their fathers or the dominant masculine culture. This comes at the cost of devaluing their personal mothers and denigrating values of the female culture. This occurs for both men and women if not on a personal level, then certainly on a collective level. If the feminine is seen as negative, powerless or manipulative the child may reject those qualities she associates with the feminine, including positive qualities such as nurturing, intuition, emotional expressiveness, creativity and spirituality. On a cultural level, the Separation from the Feminine results from a reaction to images of the feminine presented by the media that are impossible to identify with or because of a lack of feminine imagery in religion."
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